The End
I regret to inform you that 27AnonymousInches is dead.
27AnonymousInches, whose real name was William Barkvofitz Jr, grew up in the suburbs of Canton, Michigan as an only child of hair dresser Clarice Barkvofitz and drain snatcher William Barkvofitz Sr.
An unremarkable child, Bill grew to be an unremarkable man. He rented a room in a friend's trailer home and worked diligently, though resentfully, as the Assistant Night Manager's Helper at Cabeza Del Taco.
Approximately six months ago Bill, stepping out of the shower where the stench of refried beans had just begun draining from the tub and his memory, noticed a change had come over him. Looking in the mirror at his pudgy, naked self, he saw that his penis had become longer by at least two inches.
Over the next few days his penis continued to grow, and while it didn't seem to be working properly anymore, Bill considered himself personally blessed by God.
Dedicating himself to self aggrandizing autopromotion of his now massive genital, he donned the mantle of "27 Anonymous Inches" and began his campaign of petty and incompetent harassment.
You see, Will Jr had spent so much time being looked down at and dismissed by others that the moment he perceived that he had gained some element of superiority over his fellow man it went straight to his head.
With such phenomenal hubris and bravado it was inevitable that he would eventually receive his well-deserved comeuppance. So it came as a surprise to no one except for Bill himself when he dropped dead this afternoon.
Preliminary autopsy shows that the monstrous dick he was so proud of was actually a massive erectile tissue tumor which had rapidly spread through his blood to his brain and brought the mighty meat-packing man down.
Condolences, of which there are scant few to be found, may be sent here.
27AnonymousInches, whose real name was William Barkvofitz Jr, grew up in the suburbs of Canton, Michigan as an only child of hair dresser Clarice Barkvofitz and drain snatcher William Barkvofitz Sr.
An unremarkable child, Bill grew to be an unremarkable man. He rented a room in a friend's trailer home and worked diligently, though resentfully, as the Assistant Night Manager's Helper at Cabeza Del Taco.
Approximately six months ago Bill, stepping out of the shower where the stench of refried beans had just begun draining from the tub and his memory, noticed a change had come over him. Looking in the mirror at his pudgy, naked self, he saw that his penis had become longer by at least two inches.
Over the next few days his penis continued to grow, and while it didn't seem to be working properly anymore, Bill considered himself personally blessed by God.
Dedicating himself to self aggrandizing autopromotion of his now massive genital, he donned the mantle of "27 Anonymous Inches" and began his campaign of petty and incompetent harassment.
You see, Will Jr had spent so much time being looked down at and dismissed by others that the moment he perceived that he had gained some element of superiority over his fellow man it went straight to his head.
With such phenomenal hubris and bravado it was inevitable that he would eventually receive his well-deserved comeuppance. So it came as a surprise to no one except for Bill himself when he dropped dead this afternoon.
Preliminary autopsy shows that the monstrous dick he was so proud of was actually a massive erectile tissue tumor which had rapidly spread through his blood to his brain and brought the mighty meat-packing man down.
Condolences, of which there are scant few to be found, may be sent here.
posted by 27AnonymousInches at 2/08/2006
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